There is, however, light at the end of the tunnel... but it's a long way off.
Yesterday Felix had what I can only call a very rough day. She sat curled into a fragile ball, tail tucked entirely underneath her body, and looked like she ached. She wouldn't really acknowledge us when we went to pet her, except to move - painfully - if we pet her too much. She didn't meow. She just sat quietly, and from what we can tell, felt b-a-d. We don't know if she had a feaver, or if she was allergic to the eye medication they gave her, or if the reduction of her meds (that we've been ramping her down on) made her feel bad, or if it's something else entirely and she's not doing well because of that... but whatever it is, it's been harrowing and worring and stressful and all of those 'ing adjectives that you use when your cat is older and you love her so much and you're pretty sure your vet isn't going to have any answers that help. The light at the end of the tunnel? Today she's better. Neil has been the best of all caretakers, trying to get her to eat (which, today, she has, multiple times) and drink (which she also has, multiple times). And as opposed to yesterday, where she moved if we petted her, today she ducks her head into our hands and we've both had her purr with us. Things are ok. To use Neil's description, though, she's 100% better than she was yesterday, but she's still miles away from where she was Tuesday (nearly 100% away from that).
So, to mention the happy things - going to the Buffy Sing-A-Long with LG & MrTwistedWhispers on Tuesday night was absolutely delightful. Sadly my contacts crapped out as the night ended, so I was forced into yawn mode as my eyes tried to tear almost constantly, but it was worth it. Got a B on the International Relations test (hey, I'm easy and it's summer). Managed to make chicken quesadillas tonight (note: use cumin when seasoning the chicken. Yummy. Truly.) I've done all of the reading for my 60s lit class, before class, every single day this week (thus kicking ass on the quizzes and actually appreciating the one class this summer that I like). I got into a convo with my Prof today about other people to read, and not only did he hand me two different things to read, straight out of his grad class reader, but he also gave me half a dozen names that I'd never heard before to seek out and enjoy.
The dragged down things - I've been coordinating my employer's move and it's been ... draining. Packing the office on Monday on my own... arriving on Tuesday to find her stressed and then going home early to study for my mid-term... unpacking the office on Wednesday, with mixed up deliveries and bizzarely dented office furniture and me having to call customer service and try not to be mean to the people who take my calls (becuase it's not their fault they work for a crappy company) but needing to get things fixed none the less... arriving today to spend another hour on the phone with the office depot furniture delivery people, still trying to keep away from the cranky, still trying to get crap done... to finally getting the damn desk and then having to put the thing together. I have rug burn on my knees. As for the emotional parts of it? Eh, I won't even go into it at the moment. Suffice it to say that's the part that's made me the most tired.
Just call me droopy. Or dented. Or something knocked about. I just keep repeating "one more day, one more day, one more day, one more day"
ETA Paul Goodman, Growing Up Absurd; George Sanders; Karen Russell; Ben Marcus, Age of Wire & String.