February 1st, 2005

b/g - in the library

what did i learn today at school?

That not everything is a metaphorical Buddhist tale (although, I think I knew *that* one already). That the cute boy in my class, although funny and intelligent, and cute, is a troublemaker. 10 years ago I would've been intimidated into silence by that. Now it amuses me. I begin to feel like finally, this time I might get it right. Don't quite have 'it' identified, but i'm sure i'll know it when i see it.

I still grin walking to class at 9 am in the morning. I know, it's practically sacrilegious to be a student and awake at 9 in the morning, much less happy. And I'm on my way to linguistics. But, the smile creeps out, until it's a full blown showing of the teeth, the kind that calls forth responses from people I walk by. I love that - that instant smile they can't help, that tentatively darts out from their sleep walking features (everyone's always a little tired in the morning), and then gets bigger when mine expands in response. Smiling at other people is damn fine therapy for the soul.

So is being able to come home to a warm house, to feel blood return to frozen fingers and toes, and best of all, to have a wonderful, attentive and intelligent man ask you how your day was and listen, with at least half an ear, about your absurd social observations, revelations, and strange educations. Then to be able to turn on your computer and find friends there? Good friends, kind friends, wise friends. There’s no better joy than all of that bundled together.

this part, right now, every day, is the fun part. ye gods I love it.