May 9th, 2005

b/g - in the library

Procrastination Is My Middle Name: Thoughts on Mommies' Day

Actually, it's Orene. That's my mother's middle name too. And her mother's. Even though I don't think it's a particularly delicate name - it always seemed to convey a sense of sturdy practicality. It's a name you yell at the end of a hot and dusty day when you've been out working in the field. Midwestern to the core.

Or, at least, that's what I've always thought.

So today, on this holy day that we go around celebrating mommies, I kinda feel a little lucky, because I get two. I've got one moderately insane mommie, who happens to also have instilled in me most of the things I hold dear: morals, sense of self, love of books, ability to be good to people and to try and see the best in them. So I treasure her for that, even if she and I can't always figure out just who's mom and who's daughter in the relationship. This week was a good week, so she's not quitting her new job quite yet, not leaving for the Peace Corps next week, not quite yet. Instead she talked about getting more rainbows to hang up in her house, and what type of teas she's drinking. She is my herbalist, my mystical mommie, the one who shows me how the crystals worked and who demands I retain my sense of wonder through all this crazy cynicism out there. She gave me elves and art, gardens and sewing, crafts and crafty things, and is my one and only and forever mommie.

And then I've got my other mommie. I used to call her my stepmonster, because I'd heard it in a movie somewhere, and wanted to combine my utter terror of her as a child with this fondness I've developed for her over the years. She's great, because she's a bit of a hard ass, she brought her daughters up kicking and screaming and starting her own business, she taught me table manners by squishing my lips together so I woudln't eat with my mouth open, and now? Now we talk about religion and politics and movies and books (she's the one that got me reading Narnia and murder mysteries) and we share this overwhelming love for my father, even if he doesn't tell either of us that he loves us as often as he should. And we don't hold it against him. She sees true and clear and smart about everything, and she loves with a deep joy that I've only noticed in the past couple of years - something that we can both actually touch on, because she's been through enough therapy and has taught me how to say these things (and because my first mommie isn't shy about saying what's on your mind either). She is my sister-mom, and it makes me happy to have her in my life.

So, two mommies, two cards, two phone calls, and two women. I am blessed. I know it. So I wish all you people who have mommies a belated happy mothers day - and all you people who are mommies a belated happy mothers day, and everyone else, happy Sunday.

And instead of working, on this day of days, I puttered my behind off. Collapse )
b/g - in the library

good bye Carol.

I have only thanks for you to leave with: thank you for being in this world, thank you for having a hand in the creation of a marvelous woman like Maija, thank you for living and loving as you did. It's been a long time since you were free, but I'm glad to have been able to know you and see you, to have been able to see the wonderful stamp you made on the lives of the people who loved you. It has been a pleasure and a privilege. I hope your next journey is as marvelous as you.