- slept six hours last night, have been working nonstop since 8:30 am on various school related things (including excruciating class with me and co-student as only students where it was a little painful to have conversation) and am very very tired. Brain work hurts.
- Was depressed last week and wrote a big ol long post about not realizing why i was depressed and mood swinging until i got my period and realized it was pms but am too lazy to go get that and use it.
- my entire life is about translation - from theoretical Benjaminian translation to linguistic diagramming of sentences, to the metaphor of code-switching in the book I read/discussed today as part of what modern culture is in Japan. I think after this semester i may need someone to translate me
- saw the ex last weekend for a playdate with the dog i set up at the dog park - was hoping to ask him to help me with vet fees for said dog but instead he brought her a new toy and talked about moving expenses and i sort of said fuck it. probably some of the mood swings were about this? we made small talk for an hour and he almost went in for a hug at the end and i came away with it realizing i'm not going to do that again just because it was .... not really a blip on the radar as far as life goes
- my good friends had daughter's 2 year old birthday party sunday and it was so so so good to see them and see their daughter growing up and hang out a little, but it was also frightening because aside from my friend's younger brother in his 20s i am the only single one and ... yep, that's gonna start to get weird, i can feel it. Additionally, said younger brother was my smoking buddy at the last couple of 'do's at their place and now he's gone to those 'safe cig' things so i had some added self guilt for continuing to use ucky smelly cigarettes as a crutch-addiction
- i cannot find my perfume and it's driving me absolutely insane because i love it and it dissappeared completely and i do not know where it went. :( :(
- it's summer application time (two due friday for money and then the rest due in later in February for the actual, you know, applications to programs) because we're not funded over summer and somehow i have to come up with some way to get enough money to attend a summer program AND STILL HAVE APPROX $1500 per month left over to pay my bills/rent because i'm in a year lease and i'm terrified (and if i do get into a summer program that isn't in LA what the hell do i do with my dog???)
- family stuff - mom is working out her own stuff (which is good) but it's never emotionally easy, step-grandma came home from the hospital tonight to enter into hospice care because this really may be the end of her life, stepmom is doing ok but it's still tough because you're never ready even when you've had time to prepare to be ready to lose loved ones and i want to bundle them all up in hugs and not be so self involved
- i need to do laundry so bad i'm contemplating washing my underwear in the sink just to be on the safe side. yep, TMI, that's me.
- i am actually eating pesto hamburger tonight because i managed to freeze the patties in a way that let me easily separate them when i made them a couple of weeks ago - so the good news is that i may be getting the hang of this strategic eating thing after all. besides, pesto burgers. MMMMMMMMMM.
could i have typed less? of course, but it's me!
also posted to dreamwidth | you can reply here or there | um, but don't worry, i'm still an lj girl