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30 May 2008 @ 12:53 pm
quote for the day....  
I am a great believer in found families and I'm not a great believer in blood. Although I love my family, even the ones I grew up with, to me I've always felt that the people who treated you with respect and included you in their lives were your family and the people who were related to you by blood might happen to be those people but that correlation was a lot less [strong] than society believes it is.  ~ Joss Whendon

Probably more than half of you have heard this.  It's one of the loveliest things I've run across today, though, so I thought I'd share it.  Also because it expresses a better concept of family to me than many others out there (and for me it means I don't have to be quite as depressed when my parts of my almost blood-family don't make the attempt to include me in their lives).  This concept of family lets me honor the people who have honored me.  That's worth it, I think.

Anybody else prefer a found family?
 
 
 
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my monkied brain: _nihon-flowerkatekat1010 on May 30th, 2008 06:31 pm (UTC)
It takes a village

I completely agree with this! Would that all villages were in the same vicinity that they used to be - now sometimes I feel as if my village is strung out across half of the US.
my monkied brain: buffy - bw classickatekat1010 on May 30th, 2008 06:29 pm (UTC)
It sounds like you have the best of all worlds - great family that is willing to extend and incorporate new people into the flock. That's awesome.
BJ: Goddessdara_starscream on May 30th, 2008 06:17 pm (UTC)
I don't think the concept of friendship is inclusive enough for the people I meet. In the course of adult life I've had several acquaintences, some friends, a few close friends, and two or three people about whom my feelings aren't covered by the concept of friendship. They're the kind of people I wish I was related to; part of the Cousin Brigade or my older brother/sister. I wish we'd been a part of each other's lives when we were all young and still being made, if that makes sense.

Then again, there are times when I think my blood family was specifically created so that everybody in it will never lose sight of the fact that life isn't fair. Ever.
-BJ
my monkied brainkatekat1010 on May 30th, 2008 06:39 pm (UTC)
I agree - there are so many different definitions of "friend" that the word is wonky. And it's rubber-bandy to extend to people I'd trust to drive me to the emergency room and to people I'd talk to on the street to say hello. I like that - I wish I was related to certain people too. It totally makes sense.

*pets* see, this is why I think the people you'd want to have grown up with should get to be called family too - so that there can be a counter to some of the heavy shit, you know?
WickedFox: heart Pegg/Frostwickedfox on May 30th, 2008 06:29 pm (UTC)
Lovely indeed. I certainly prefer found family.
my monkied brain: buffywill - *glomp*katekat1010 on May 30th, 2008 06:40 pm (UTC)
*grin*
EB: Queen of the Social Lepers: *hug* giles/tara by kateelizabuffy on May 30th, 2008 08:31 pm (UTC)
I totally prefer my found family. I try to pretend I'm not actually related to many of my blood relatives. *cough* Uncle Asshole */cough* That being said, a lot of my blood relatives are included in the "found family." They're the family I chose who just happen to be related to me.

~e!
my monkied brain: buffywill - *glomp*katekat1010 on May 31st, 2008 07:46 pm (UTC)
i think there's totally room for the blood relatives in the found family - hell, sometimes i think that it's like the cherry on the top to actually *find* family you're also blood related to (like my relationship with my dad - which i really don't think i had until i became an adult). That's the nice part about the whole thing - finding can go both ways. :D
Stacysahiya on May 30th, 2008 11:20 pm (UTC)
To be the voice of dissent, I have been extraordinarily lucky in my blood family and I wouldn't trade a single one of them for the world (this is my immediate family; there are members of my extended family I'd trade for a pack of cigarettes and some soap).

I have found family that I love as well, though.
my monkied brain: x/c - *snuggle*katekat1010 on May 31st, 2008 07:48 pm (UTC)
It sounds like you have a fantastic immediate family, which is wonderful - and I didn't necessarily mean to imply that blood-family can't be part of the idea of a found family - just that sometimes we live in a world that doesn't acknowledge the whole village aspect of the world, and that those relationships we make are sometimes as important as those ones we are born into. :D
Lostgirllostgirlslair on May 31st, 2008 02:37 am (UTC)
You sound like you could use some hugs! ::huge, huge hugs:: I am all about the found family idea. I mean, being related to someone is an accident, but the people you choose to be around are bounds built on something, and are less random. *G* Not that I don't love some of my blood relatives. You know, the not evil ones. *G*
my monkied brain: buffywill - *hug*katekat1010 on May 31st, 2008 07:49 pm (UTC)
I'm doing ok sweetest - back and forth between a weird enui and sort of burying my head in the sand ;) And exactly - I love my blood relatives (some of them) lots and lots too - just that I love my found family in much the same way. And that concept begins to explain why I'd ever consider doing some of the things i've done for friends - cuz friend isn't quite a good enough word, you know? *squishes you*
Lostgirllostgirlslair on June 1st, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC)
Aw. ::more hugs:: I hope things get better, darlin'! And, yeah, that's exactly the way I feel about it all. There should be a word that means 'might as well be family'. ::nods::
berahtberaht on May 31st, 2008 02:46 am (UTC)
I like the concept. I've yet to experience it.
my monkied brainkatekat1010 on June 9th, 2008 03:50 am (UTC)
it's out there, promise