In much the same way I went to a meeting this morning to talk with my grad advisor about the fact that there are no content-area specific classes (which means none on Asia) being offered in our department for fall, and I am supposed to somehow meekly rubber stamp this as being ok even though my funding actually requires that I take an area-specific class each semester.
In even more painfully not-what-I-wanted-to-hear-on-a-monday-mo
When I suggested that perhaps some of my MA courses might be considered to count for credit towards my degree (since I don't think we're going to be doubling the number of classes people are teaching anytime soon and so I kind of could use some creative ways to satisfy the requirements of my degree) he couldn't seem to understand that I was trying to think outside of the box -- the box being that my department doesn't offer the classes I need to finish my PhD.
I've already gone through the process of seeing a light at the end of the tunnel (just in case you're reading this and want to be reassuring - know that I'm past the "oh my god it's the end of the world what kind of a huge mistake did I make choosing this school i'm an idiot help" stage), and it could be worse.
These are my blessings:
- My adviser actually knows the field Japanese science fiction and is excited for me to be writing on it and she's not an idiot and while she may have been consumed with her own crap this semester she IS a resource and I am not totally abandoned here
- There are other faculty at my school that are not in our department who work on science fiction literature - it may not be Japanese but it's still sci fi. And I am starting to know who they are. (Now, if they were just offering classes this fall -- but hey, at least they're there)
- I am funded.
- There is another PhD student coming into the school in fall who is also interested in sci-fi / anime and Japan, which will make two of us and I already like her and together we can start to constitute a class
- I am not dumb, I am not without resources, and it will only be my second year at the school so it's not as if I have to be done with everything and perfect today (or even tomorrow)
- i aced my Kanji quiz, i got an A- on my Japanese speech from last week which is 3% of my grade, and i had already done my homework for today last week Thurs so I was totally prepared for class with no stress
- i met a girlfriend for a quick lunch and she (since she's almost done with her Phd) basically told me that my fears are not abnormal but that it's not the end of the world
- i have a boyfriend who is willing to tell me everything is going to be all right when i'm in the middle of a freakout
- i found two articles that were AWESOME for my paper presentation tomorrow
- i got to actually hang out with my mom this weekend because she was in town and we consumed a variety of food and had a great bunch of conversation and it was very very pleasing.