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25 September 2010 @ 09:40 am
this is what i get when i try to sleep in  
that extra blissful half an hour or so i took this morning?  my subconscious treated me to a rousing dream where i was showing my housemate austin, until he fell asleep on the way to the next bar, and then i ended up in a family gathering where Neil was too, with two relatives pulling me aside in the kitchen to tell me, in the most distainful way possible, that I was being selfish and rude not getting back together with such a nice young man (one of these women reminded me of one of the Housewives of New York - the former Countess one, thanks brain - but it made her extra krispy disdainful).  And I ended the dream screaming at them the truth: "three fucking years he was cheating on me and lying to me every day and you expect me to forgive him for that??  if that's selfish I don't fucking care" (or something to that effect) and watching their faces crumple as they realize he isn't the nice, sweet, earnest man they'd been trying to promote all evening.

if this is what i get for sleeping in I'm setting my alarm more often.  At least my subconscious is willing to fight for itself against the nostalgic parts of my subconscious that apparently just want everything to go back to the way it was.  Fight and scream...

while i hate waking up to those kinds of dreams, because i always feel more tired than before, there was this undercurrent of "fuck you" anger / satisfaction getting to wipe the sanctimonious looks off their faces. So that's ok I guess.

also posted to dreamwidth | you can reply here or there | um, but don't worry, i'm still an lj girl
literate and stylish: hug youmishloran on September 25th, 2010 01:24 pm (UTC)
They are much better than the dreams where you're still together and you have the feeling of calm happiness, or bliss even, and then you wake up and you're like "WHAT THE FUCK, BRAIN!" I suppose.

my monkied brain: buffywill - *glomp*katekat1010 on September 25th, 2010 05:49 pm (UTC)
Oh dear gods - ok, YES, totally agreed!!

*squishes you to pieces*
bexmaddybexmaddy on September 25th, 2010 07:07 pm (UTC)
Once or twice, my ex has intruded in on my dreams. He tells me I was stupid for leaving. And I think when I wake up, "stupid sleep, who needs it?"
my monkied brainkatekat1010 on October 2nd, 2010 02:58 am (UTC)
Seriously, I'd feel the same way! ugh. he needs to stay out of everything entirely.
BJ: Evil!Laughdara_starscream on September 25th, 2010 10:33 pm (UTC)
The Crazy Harry Play With Electricity! part of your brain that does the dreaming doesn't always have your best interests as priorities. That one with the pink taffeta and the Lawrence Welk All-Zombie Orchestra . . . I rest my case.
my monkied brainkatekat1010 on October 2nd, 2010 02:59 am (UTC)
hey, how did you know about the lawrence welk all zombie orchestra???