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05 October 2010 @ 09:51 am
Know what would be nice? a break in the crazy  
Ok, so DMV stuff taken care of after spending two entire days at the DMV.  But my car is now properly registered and everything is ok in the system.

Sadly, if it's not one thing it's another.  Last night Domino (the dog) was aggressive with Tako (the little dog of the housemate) and managed to leave a very small red dot on his leg (this "dot" is the size of the top of a sewing pin - I'm assuming where her teeth caught his leg - it's not a bite, not a scratch, but a kind of an red indent).  Asha is not ok with this, i'm not ok with this.

The short term solution is that Domino is confined to my bedroom while Tako is in the house. 

The thing is that the dogs actually get along fine for 90% of the time - they even play together.  During the day, when it's either Alex or I here, they mostly lay in two different spots in the living room and don't seem to hang out, and then there are small bursts of play that one or the other instigates, where they chase each other around the room.  (Now, during this play, I've noticed Tako biting, near Domino's eyes, and I meant to talk with Asha about that being a concern, but hadn't yet).  Asha seemed to think we could let them both interact while we were all three there, but the aggressive behavior has always happened while we're all three there (so that didn't really make any sense to me).

I suggested a trainer - but she will categorically not pay for one.  Additionally, when I asked her if she would listen to what a trainer had to say if I brought one in and paid for the consultation myself, she said "Well, I might, depending on what they say."

(which to me equals no, she wouldn't listen)

However, she then spent the rest of the night finding progressively more insistent ways of telling me that my dog isn't trained well and doesn't obey me.  She suggested a muzzle, or crate training, as a fix.  I noted that our first trainer was against crate training domino, and that a muzzle wouldn't take care of the aggression/dominance issue.

As her final note on the night, she again told me that Domino doesn't listen to me unless I've got treats in my hand, and that she thought it would be best if I worked with a trainer privately first, and then, depending on what that trainer said, she might be willing to consider letting the trainer see them interact.  But that she again thought it was a problem between me and Domino.

It's not a problem between me and Domino.  Domino obeys me in a variety of ways without treats (most often on walks, when she correctly takes position beside me and walks at my pace on a loose leash, stops at every corner, is asked to stop and let me go out doors first, etc.).  Yes, I have used treats in excess when calling her to me and when I want her to sit/down/touch fingers (something my first trainer suggested we wean her off of once we'd firmly established the behaviors), but honestly?  The problem isn't my relationship with my dog, it's my dog's relationship with her dog.

We did all of the introduction things one should do - slowly introduced, they did a lot of bowing, rewarding them for positive behavior with each other, making sure the dogs had different spaces (Tako is not allowed in my room, etc).  And again, they predominantly get along with each other, including forms of play.

However, when these aggressive behaviors of Domino started cropping up (which was after the first week that I'd lived here) I went and looked up a bunch of dog training websites to find info, and sent Asha what I'd found.  She "glanced" at it but obviously didn't bother to read it, since she continued to do behaviors that the sites said wouldn't help: Tako has very bad separation anxiety and she marks all of her comings and goings from the apartment with a big emotional fanfare; she drags Domino away from Tako when she is being aggressive, and protects Tako by standing in front of or between the two dogs when she thinks Domino is in the way.  She consistently talked to me about how Tako is just a funny little dog and she didn't feel any need to work with him on his behavior (jumping excessively, biting while playing, randomly yipping in fear when his leash is pulled a tiny bit - something Asha does), because "that is just how he is"

I want to tell her that her dog is badly trained, that she has problems listening to people, and that she's a fucking idiot and I don't want to live here anymore and she can take her issues, and her taking advantage of people, and find someone else to sucker.

So apparently I'm in the market for a new apartment.

also posted to dreamwidth | you can reply here or there | um, but don't worry, i'm still an lj girl
EB: Queen of the Social Lepers: *hugs* kittens by shannonelizabuffy on October 5th, 2010 01:20 pm (UTC)
Oh man. I am so sorry. Asha sounds like a first rate jerk. Poor Domino. It definitely sounds like you need to find a new place to live, unfortunately. Can't you come away to MT for a while? ;)

Take care and call me whenever. :)

my monkied brainkatekat1010 on October 5th, 2010 04:46 pm (UTC)
Yeah, i was REALLY hoping to at least make it through the month of october, but holy hell am i over the drama.

and yes, i would love to come to MT, as long as you'll hide me under your bed? sadly i can't even slow down - i have a conference to present at in 10 days.
savoy trufflesavoytruffle on October 5th, 2010 01:42 pm (UTC)
Please get a new apartment. This one sounds like nothing but trouble.

I have a spare room. Unfortunately, the commute would be substantial.
my monkied brainkatekat1010 on October 5th, 2010 04:46 pm (UTC)
That darned commute. I appreciate the offer nonetheless lady.

And yeah, I think I may actually just go ahead and search for a studio/1 br and live by myself if I can't get boy!roomate to go with me - this is just too much hassle for real life.
literate and stylish: hug youmishloran on October 5th, 2010 03:24 pm (UTC)
It definitely sounds like her dog is at fault here, not yours. Also, unless it is a bleeding-like-crazy bite? I personally would shrug it off; the two dogs are just assessing and asserting where they fit into the pack structure, and a few bites along the way are an inevitable conclusion. If it's not got so bad you have to literally tear them off each other, that's just general generic doggie behaviour?

Also, treats have nothing to do with it, excessive treatin' or not! It sounds like your dog is MUCH better trained than mine. And, frankly, if you have a dog that responds to treats, they are the way to go with training. It is MUCH harder to train a dog who is interested in, say, exciting sniffs in the woods or distracted by a bouncy ball, rather than one who is like 'noms?' all the time.

Do you have an upstairs/downstairs where you could install a safety gate, thus giving Domino more than one room to be in when people are not home? (I assume when people are home, both dogs are never completely unsupervised, therefore both are allowed out?)

I'm so, so sorry your situation is shitty ONCE AGAIN. Fate is a crazy, mental, crazy beast of crazy. I suggest talking to Boy Housemate and finding somewhere else to live; would be be easier to lease as two people trying to find a two person house with a dog rather than just you looking? Good luck with the search, darling. :(

**love through the 'nets**
my monkied brainkatekat1010 on October 5th, 2010 04:55 pm (UTC)
No, not a bleeding like crazy bite at all - a little red mark smaller than the size of a sewing pin. But Asha is afraid for her dog because Domino outweighs him by 40 lbs. She also doesn't believe that Domino is not intentionally trying to hurt Tako. And the thing is when this kind of thing is happening, it lasts for all of about 10 seconds, but they're loud and growly 10 seconds where domino is making grrrrr low growels and shoving tako bodily around the room, and tako is growling back and also yipping at the top of his lungs. so it's REALLY loud and feels like it's super violent. What has happened so far in terms of *actual* violence? Domino has moved him across the room and slobbered on him, and this one pin-prick of a "wound".

And honestly, I happen to think Domino is pretty damn well trained, but I also know I'm biased, I"m her owner.... but yes, she totally does respond to treats, and she does all the things the trainers who are positive behaviorists say to do - she keeps her attention on me, looks for lots of clues, is pretty attentive I'd say like 75% of the time.... which is pretty high to me.

And sadly, no upstairs downstairs. My room door (and all of our room doors) open onto the common room that is both living/kitchen/Asha's office. So basically yeah, there's no way to split/divide the space without one dog not having access to 90% of it.

And the sad part is that these aggressive incidents? Only happen when people *ARE* home and are supervising..... when they're left to themselves and there are only two people home and the humans are in their rooms? the dogs don't do anything aggressive.

And yeah, seriously, fate is kicking me in the nads right now. Will talk to Boy Housemate when I get home and see what he has to say - he said he wanted to talk to Asha today (because we had a smoke last night and he agrees with me that Domino isn't the problem - Domino/Tako is the issue).

I started looking for studios just cuz i don't want to totally depend on him - not that he's not nice, but at this point I'm wondering if I should just handle my own shit only, you know? Cuz with the way my luck has gone the next thing to happen will be ... flood, fire, famine, something.

thanks darling for the love - it means bunches.
literate and stylish: hug youmishloran on October 5th, 2010 05:21 pm (UTC)
Yeah you're right re: boy housemate, maybe looking for somewhere on your own would be... safer? ... lol. I do not know. People are sometimes Good, even or perhaps especially when you do not want them to be around.

It definitely sounds like the dogs are just doing a little dominance dance, certainly doesn't sound like it's going to get mental if they're left to their own devices. Suggest she's overreacting wildly and is a psychopath. *nods*

Mew. I am sorry it is so crappy. *more love than you can shake a stick at* xxx
my monkied brainkatekat1010 on October 5th, 2010 06:15 pm (UTC)
i agree with you about the people being good - esp. since i've really not lived alone my entire life - it's good to be able to come home and talk to someone about how your day went and how theirs went, you know?

OTOH.... flood, fire, famine - my luck.... it's not good.

And yeah, if i could safely suggest she's overreacting i would, but boy is THAT not going over well.

*nabs your love and sucks it all up!!* (ewww, strange metaphor)
literate and stylish: glomp!mishloran on October 5th, 2010 06:17 pm (UTC)
Like a big ol' love sponge. :)
BJ: For Fuck's Sakedara_starscream on October 6th, 2010 11:07 pm (UTC)
What it sounds like is Tako's seperation anxiety's been underlined and made worse by having another PersonWithDog in the house, and Dom's picking up on that. It might also be that they're both one person dogs and would just naturally have a hard time with another dog in their spaces -- not a fault issue on either end, but still an issue.

The roots of the behavior aside, it's a problem the housemate isn't willing or able to address. Fuckachicken, man, how bad do you not need this?