my monkied brain (katekat1010) wrote,
my monkied brain

Japanese & Me

Well, I didn't fail the written. Got a B. A stretching just over the top of 80% (by a couple of decimal points) B. We don't have results back from the oral exam, although I bombed it. Most of the time I'm fearless - I'll be the first one to speak up during class, I can stand in front of crowds all day, I have absolutely no problem with chalkboards, but occasionally... Occasionally I get the shaky, heart pounding, stomach churning reaction that means my ears shut up and my lips stutter.

Not a great place to be when I'm trying to pass an oral exam where I have to complete an exchange with my professor. Sadly, even on things that I knew (because I'd practiced the exchanges with Neil for almost an hour, then went and worked with someone else later) the night before, I blanked when she asked. More than once. More like often.

I was filled with dread yesterday - now it's tempered into a kind of resignation. If it was during the school year I'd be able to find a tutor to work with (great idea miss M - just unf. they're all gone for the summer). It's summer though, and tutors, like most of the student body, are probably countries away drinking hard and parting their asses off until they have to come back in fall. All this just means more practice for me, when I'm less inclined to do so because my performance is suffering. Yes, I know, it's a negative cycle.

And I'm on my own ... Neil's flown his fancy way to Vegas for the weekend, then LA for the rest of the week, so there's no excuse for not studying. (not that there was before, but ... I'm lazy. He always seems to find the best tv.)

The good part: only 1 more midterm and the final to go. The scary part: once I'm done with that, Japanese II, the *harder* class, starts the Monday after.
Tags: school

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