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28 August 2011 @ 11:00 pm
ok, so here's the problem  
i'm signed up on a couple of dating sites. i did it a while ago, and when i got back from japan this summer i decided i was determined to "get over that hump" (which, literally for me, meant to get the hell over that hump and find someone non-serious to go out on a couple of dates with. do not want lifetime romance! at least not right now).

problem is that i think i may have the energy to do something with the dating profile like ... once a month? and that, only for a weekend. this does not add up to actually getting over the hump. it actually adds up to a sort of mild vague interest in my dating life. And this is DESPITE the fact that I was in a conversation with a couple of guys that I am actually at the stage of, "hey, you're interesting, let's go for coffee"

i just ... can't be arsed. that probably means as much as i like the concept, i'm not actually ready, or something equally psychological. i think part of it too is that i want to expend the effort in an embodied conversation. and ok, this process is slightly better than i feared since i've actually gotten responses to my profile, even if they aren't, you know, banging down my door or anything.

it's just all too much effort at the moment. why is it again that i can't just order up someone who i can go spend time with?

also posted to dreamwidth | you can reply here or there | um, but don't worry, i'm still an lj girl
brutti_ma_buonibrutti_ma_buoni on August 29th, 2011 05:38 am (UTC)
*g* you probably can order someone up. They just may be expensive and possibly shallow...

Maybe think of a couple of things you'd like to do that would be better in company? The thing I hate about my semi-single status is the number of things I do which are pretty much okay alone but would be better with someone (friend, partner, anyone fairly compatible) to go with and chat to/enthuse at/laugh with if it's no fun. That's probably a #2 or 3 date, post-coffee, but it's a goal worth pursuing. And way more fun that the progression coffee-dinner-movie.

What do I know, though? Ignore me...
my monkied brain: b/g - hug [ntm]katekat1010 on August 30th, 2011 05:48 pm (UTC)
the shallow part (at this point) i wouldn't care about, but the expensive part totally makes it a dealbreaker. *darn* (kidding, mostly!)

and honestly, that's a great idea! perhaps not right now, but as a goal to work up to? right now i'm too lazy to even email, you know?

thanks for the advice sweetest - it is appreciated!
Carolee: something blueladyforash on August 29th, 2011 11:17 am (UTC)
I totally understand how you feel! I've tried match.com before but after like a week, I was so over it. And now friends say I should sign up again, but it just takes so much energy. I just want things to happen, like magic. I don't want to work for it. Can't I just bump up against some cute guy on the street and viola, dating material and true romance? Online dating is like... going to the grocery store or buying a car. I dunno. I see the merit, and I've seen evidence it works. But I agree... you can't do it half heartedly I don't think.